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Verena Lee
Verena Lee
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Sunday, February 26, 2006
hee hee

jus change my blogskins.. hee.. goin 2 slp soon.. nothin 2 do..yawns... take care all my frens.. nite

dunno wat 2 do

hmmm.. tis wk is my 1st wk of attachment.. quite tired.. i was at e b class ward where all e patients r very proud n dun us as a human.. hmmm.. n my partner always mia(missing in action).. which i dun really like it.. thou some of e patients r very demandin n proud but tis does not discourage me.. all i wan is them 2 be discharged.. i was so happy on fri cos mr yeo had been discharged.. e 1st day he admited 2 e hospital he dun really can tok n nw he can tok a bit.. n my frens n i even sang bday song to mr tan who is 91 yrs old on fri.. it is very meaningful.. hee,, recently emotional haf take over my realistic,, haiz.. mayb i was 2 afraid.. afraid 2 be alone afraid being betrayed n afriad tat i cant get my sponsorship n afraid tat i cant get all my objectives by e end of my attachment n afraid tat i will left god again..
yesterday in e worship i haf an asthma attack due 2 stuffy n ppl all crowd around me.. suddenly i jus feel lost n afraid 2 be alone.. den suddenly i jus take it n went 2 toilet but i relieved tat luckily i haf come out from toilet n e auditorium if not i might haf fainted.. 4 me if i start 2 haf asthma attack i might jus fainted n feel numbness in my limbs.. n yesterday i 4get 2 bring my inhaler.. after tat i went back e service i still found e room is still very stuffy.. i was very tired n dun really concentrate wat pastor jeff is sayin.. i almost fall asleep.. i jus 2 tired. very tired.. all i wan is 2 go home 2 sleep.. haiz.. den after tat went 2 starhub centre 2 haf my dinner.. dun really eat well .. only eat 1/4 of my porridge.. den after tat i go home.. while on my way e mrt train is so crowded.. no seats 4 me.. den i fall asleep while i was standin.. i guess i was jus tired.. den after tat there is a couple standin in front of me huggin each other which make me feel very uneasy. how i wish i m not there
times realli flies very fast n my bday is comin soon.. 2 more wks i will b 22 yrs old n till nw no bf n no achievement.. haiz.. i start 2 wonder tat do i still like guys .. i dunno.. i am confused.. i haf been single 4 almost 2 yrs.. mayb till 2 i was badly hurt by my 1st bf.. my god sis huiyan haf been kept intro his brother who is 2 yrs younger den me.. hmmm.. i jus told her i not very keen n i told her tat is tat we cant be couple n she wan me 2 be her sister in law.. n her mum also kept praisin his son hopin tat i can b her daughter in law.. haha.. i jus told them i still dunno whether i still like guys anot.. alway get rejected by guys.. n i told them time will prove everything.. hee.. hopefully next time they c me they wont b tellin me again e same things.. haha.. tmr i will be in mornin shift.. sian.. hope tat god will guide n show me e rite way n take away all my emotional n temptin